HSK demotivation

by Julia

I’ll be honest (as it won’t make much sense not to be honest on a blog that talks about me):  I don’t know if I want to take the test anymore.

I will anyway, I don’t intend to withdraw. But if I had to follow my guts, I’d rather wait for next sessions.

Why is that? Because I feel ashamed.

HSK 3 is unreachable for me at the moment, but I’m starting to see level 2 as a challenge as well.

And I feel ashamed because I’ve been studying Chinese for more than 2 years now and HSK2 should be easy-peasy. But it’s not.

I’ve been concentrating almost exclusively on characters in the latest months and I’ve lost the grip on grammar and consistent vocabulary practice. Reading too, what have I been reading in Chinese lately?

It was my choice, nobody forced to make all these efforts just to finish Remembering Simplified Hanzi. But I still feel left behind for some reason, and I wish I could have motivation rathen than fear of failure to face the exam right now.

Some of my classmates took HSK2 almost a year ago and I don’t even know whether I’ll be able to pass it with a good grade. Very demotivational.