When you just can’t bring yourself to choose
Funny that the more I want to write and blog, the less I actually do it. It’s probably because when I’m busy doing interesting stuff I come up with much more blog material – but at the same time I have less occasions to sit down at my desk and write about it. Vicious circle.
I’m back to Scotland right now and having the best time ever.
Also having the best nerd-ish shops like Waterstone’s and Paperchase and WHSmith and Primark [for pijamas] and Marks & Spencer [for shortbreads] and boy is my wallet sweeping right now.
Speaking of Watersone’s, in my latest splurge I got a couple of interesting books from the Very Short Introduction series of Oxford University Press + a couple of novels [one that I’ve been willing to get for a long time, the other totally random] I can’t really wait to start reading.
Oh and I’m also totally into the Avalon series again after having read [and loved] the first novel this summer. (I just realised I yet have to write my 3rd trimester book reviews ooops)
I would like to dedicate 80% of my time reading right now, but I don’t, and the reason is always the same: I want to do at least another billions of stuff in addition to reading novels.
I know that the more you have on your plate the less you’re able to accomplish. But as I stated many times before, this appears to be exactly who I am. I just can’t let go of the things I care and I’m passionate about, even though I’m perfectly aware this causes me a continuous sense of under-accomplishment.
I know I should make choices but I honestly can’t bring myself to do so.
Why should I enjoy just a couple of things when I can enjoy plenty?
We’re always persuaded by society that we have to focus, to be knowledgeable in a specific field of expertise in order to be someone. Well, what if I could just be no one and keep enjoying the things that make me happy?
This blog is a mess and I know it, there’s too much going on and I just can’t get hold of everything – but it’s also the closest representation of myself and my world I ever had on the digital domain.
I haven’t come completely to terms with this personality of mine, no; but I’m starting to thinking that if you can’t bring yourself to make a certain choice that is supposed to be better for you, maybe it is just not meant to be. I’d rather put more effort on trying to find better ways of organising and managing my time than just crossing things off my passion list.
And if I fail at least I will die trying (๑ÒωÓ๑)