Chinese Talk / 12

by Julia

Here I am. Back to Chinese.

I wonder whether I’ll ever be able to have a fixpoint in my language learning experience. The more I look for it, the less I’m able to find it. And history seems to repeat itself over and over again, leaving me with the impression of not really knowing what I’m doing.

Just being over-dramatic.

My Japanese experience is on a hiatus again. Remember how enthusiastic I was about my new language pal? Well, I guess she was a little too cool for me. Or rather, I’m not cool enough for her [which makes much more sense actually]. I’m perfectly aware of the fact that I’m an absolutely average girl, so I’m not surprised at all.  And I’m not saying this to get sympathy, I’m totally and absolutely honest in the awareness of my averageness.

Do I have to say the whole truth? I don’t think this is totally a bad thing.

When I went back to Japanese I was thrilled, I wouldn’t deny that. Let’s just say that since I stopped studying it with continuity it’s like I’m here always waiting for the right opportunity to start back, a redemption that will let me say to the world ‘See? I didn’t waste time, I’m learning Japanese again!’.

But on the other hand, in the last couple of years I’ve been much more into Chinese. I can’t deny this either.

I think it’s mostly because I started studying it attending classes at the Confucius Institute, this way having the chance of building up my knowledge step by step, in the same environment, with the same textbook and the same approach. Something I didn’t have the chance to do with Japanese at all.

But I also want to finish something for once. In a moment in which I feel like my whole life is on a halt [my internship, my PhD preparation, my Japanese learning, my life with the +1], at least I want to go through with something. And Chinese is my something right now.

So even though I’m sorry that with my language pal it didn’t work out, I also feel the relief of being able to concentrate on Chinese in peace – because if there’s something I’m seriously not able to manage is to split my attention too much. I’m not a genius, you know. I’m definitely not talented, I’m actually rather slow so being focused on one thing at a time it’s always the best option. Especially when we’re talking about language learning.

By the way, as we’re talking about doing thing one at a time… In the bonanza of my latest study exploit I’ve also gone back to my Buddhist studies AHEM.

Also sharing this time lapse that I recorded unintentionally 😀 [it gives me headaches every time I watch it so be carefull]